Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between Jesus and a prostitute?
The look they give you while you’re nailing them.
Three nuns die in a car crash, but they all make it to heaven. They're standing at the pearly gates, and Saint Peter says to them, "Don't worry, you're going to get in, but first I need you to answer these questions."
He asks the first nun, "What was the name of the first woman?" The nun says, "Eve." Saint Peter says, "Go on in."
Then he asks the second nun, "Where did Adam and Eve live?" The second one says, "The Garden of Eden." Saint Peter says, "You can go through."
Finally, he gets to the third nun and says, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" The nun stands there a little confused and says, "Boy, that's a hard one." Saint Peter, shocked, goes, "That's correct! Go on in."
Why can't lesbians wear makeup while on a diet?
Because they can't eat Jenny Craig while Mary Kay is sitting on their face.
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."
What's the difference between a sidewalk, a drug dealer, and a prostitute?
A: A sidewalk's crack doesn't leave an odor!
I am starting a business where I help people count. It is called making the little things count.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A wishlist.
I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.
People are still scratching their heads over it.
What is a Jamaican's idea of a balanced diet?
A joint in each hand.
Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?
She thought it was diet coke.
Did you hear about the new sex doll they've invented for Muslims? It blows itself up!!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
No one who?
Your tits look heavy. Need help holding them up?
Free service for tit holding!
Your hairline so bad even God says, "Aaaaahhhh!"
What is the most unrealistic thing about Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
Q. What movie is a fat person most afraid of?
A. The Hunger Games.
Yo mama is so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby together, it would be a turd covered in semen.
What happens if you look in the mirror and say fentanyl 3 times? You'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.