Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
What's the most played game in Africa? The Hunger Games.
My therapist told me, "Time to heal all wounds", so I shot him in the nuts.
Now we wait...
Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jack could eat her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill’s real name is Randy
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen! Ugh!“ The woman goes to the rear of the bus and angrily sits down. She says to a man next to her “The driver just insulted me!“ The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.“
What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!
me: brings in missing child police: omg this kid has been missing for 3 months. here is your reward me: oh, cool
NEXT DAY
me: brings in 8 other kids
police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I showed my girlfriend my taser. She was stunned.
Donald Trump is proudly anti-woke. He has been falling asleep in his court cases every morning!
Your move, Ron DeSantis.
Steven Hawking had dark humor. Whenever he turned on his laugh effect it diverted power from his screen brightness.
Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?" Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me." The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything." The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too."
Yo mama so fat, she doesn't need internet, she's already WORLDWIDE
DON'T COMMIT SUICIDE, THAT WOULD MAKE DJUNGELSKOG SAD!!!
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
do you know why I'm scared of Bungy jumping? because i was brought into this world by broken rubber i want wanna be taken out of this world by broken rubber
I never forget my grandpa’s last words Are you still holding the ladder?
Yo momma so fat when she step on the scale the doctor said I need your weight not your phone number
Why download fruit ninja when you have your arm
What do you call a black goldfish? A gigger
Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?
Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
