Orphans go on vacation to the ancient pyramid to find a mommy.
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her ‘doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?’ The doctor says ‘my number’
Broccoli is like anal sex.
If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
How do you make a cat go "woof"? .... douse it in gasoline and set it on fire! "woof!"
I like my women like I like my coffee
Dark,Rich, and Imported
When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom and you think your in the clear but the Down syndrome kid says “goodbye”
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date? She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: do you know how often people die from AIDS?
I said: now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.
If your drive a Lamborghini, than you have a tiny whennie
What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?
He would be robin.
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals. In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky. The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud"
My friends mother thought a kid who had autism and downsyndrome. He called him a “double down”
A kid walks in late to class, the teacher asks him "why are you late?" and he replies "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake" Another kid walks in late to class and the teacher asks him "why are you late" and he replies "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake", The last kid walks in and the teacher says "why are you late?...and why are you wet?" and the kid says back REMEBER MY NAME IS PEBBLES!!
Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make sour patch kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make sour patch kids
Daughter: Oh that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital Reload and keep shooting
Little Johnny’s mom is taking a shower little Johnny walks in and asks what is that in between your legs mommy says that is my keyhole the next day little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and little Johnny asks what is that in between your legs daddy says that is my key the next day little Johnny says to his dad looks like the neighbor has the key to mommy’s keyhole too.
By:Xzavier
