Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?" Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me." The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything." The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too."
Yo mama so fat, she doesn't need internet, she's already WORLDWIDE
DON'T COMMIT SUICIDE, THAT WOULD MAKE DJUNGELSKOG SAD!!!
do you know why I'm scared of Bungy jumping? because i was brought into this world by broken rubber i want wanna be taken out of this world by broken rubber
Yo momma so fat when she step on the scale the doctor said I need your weight not your phone number
Why download fruit ninja when you have your arm
What do you call a black goldfish? A gigger
Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?
Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
Why did the short person become a chef?
Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
Why did the parachute refuse to open?
Because it had a "fatal attraction" to the ground.
Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?
Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.
"Why don't skeletons go skydiving?"
"Because they don't have the guts... or the parachute."
My father told me to always carry a womens bag but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped moms bag when we went parachuting. :(
Why would doors do well on social media?
Everyone looks for their handles
What do you call a rapper who LOVES nature?
MC Green
Why did the rapper become a pilot?
Because he wanted to take his flow to NEW HEIGHTS
