Worst Jokes Ever
What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?
Next time I’m bringing all my friends.
What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?
A nugget.
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.
Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."
Why do Russians drink grizzly bear piss?
Since vodka in Russia is so weak, Russians need a strong drink to get drunk.
Why are Russians forced to drink grizzly bear piss in Russia?
Because vodka in Russia is weak.
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Getting them back in the wheelchair
What do you call an Irish lesbian? A Gaelic
Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?
A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
Q. Why aren't Epstein jokes funny? A. Because it's such a touchy subject.
Did you know a full moon is perfect for a werewolf to come out?
I’m gay.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The dwarf who couldn’t reach the doorbell.
Q: What do you call an angry, bullied Asian kid?
Shoo Ting.
I support LGBTQ. Let's Go Bully The Queers
It used to be "My Body, My Choice" until Trump came to power. Now it's "Your Body, My Choice."
Black comedy name week:
Malt liquor Monday Tupac Tuesday Watermelon Wednesday Thong Thursday Fried chicken Friday Sukie Sukie Saturday Slap a hoe Sunday
How are rape and an airplane similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
White comedy week:
Monster Truck Monday
Trailer Park Tuesday
White Trash Wednesday
Take Your Sister Out Thursday
Fox News Friday
Storm the Capitol Saturday
Say You’re Sorry Sunday
Young man: "Very good money, and how about the name of the stupid young man again?"
Friend: "Dagobert Duck."
Young man: "Ah, I remember. He was the American useless."
Friend: "Ah, you mean Donald Trump?"
Young man: "Yes, just like that! I know exactly how the guy managed to become president. Hahaha!!!"