Vegetable jokes

Why do hospitals have fans?

To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.

What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.

I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.

Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.

What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?

The vegetable gets picked.

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair. 😎

What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”

What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”

What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.

Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.

So, Johnny was working at a deli. A woman walks up and asks, "Do you have any salad?" Johnny says, "No." She asks, "What about carrots?" Again, Johnny says, "No." She says, "What about bananas?" Johnny says, "Tell ya what, spell out 'lad' in salad." She spells, "L A D." Johnny replies, "Spell 'rot' in carrot." She spells, "R O T." Johnny says, "Now spell 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." She says, "There is no 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." Johnny exclaims, "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"

What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.

Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?

Because they can’t ketchup.

You look like the 0.01 percent of germs the Lysol didn't kill.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?

A baked potato.

What's big, round, and can't move?

A vegetable!

My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...

So I threw a carrot at her.

Why did the carrots laugh?

They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

One screams when I peel its skin off.

If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.

I guess Hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.

I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extremely handicapped.

I'm calling it "Fruits and Vegetables".