Worst Jokes Ever
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.
My dad still hasn’t come back with the milk. Now we are stuck eating dry cereal.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
Because they come back.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?”
He responded with, “The cat is dead.”
She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you have broken the news slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof or on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor thing's dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?”
“She’s playing on the roof.”
My girlfriend gave me the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
Why did the orphan become a criminal? It wants to be wanted.
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale
What do you call it when a midget waves at you?
A microwave.
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
"Hee hee touched me."
What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?
Men toes.
Why was the chef embarrassed?
He saw the salad dressing.
What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?
He said, "Fuck this shit!"
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
I went on a walk last night with a really hot girl. Then she noticed me, and we went for a run.
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?
Dave: No.
Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
Why can you never hear bunnies having sex? Because they have cotton balls.