Muslim jokes
What do you call a Muslim with Tourette’s? A ticcing time bomb.
A Muslim enters a building...
Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.
"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.
"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head.
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.
"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."
A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”
Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"
Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"
That would be one hell of a war if it actually happens in the future
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
Q. What do you call a Muslim basketball player?
A. Osama Bin Ballin'.
What do you call a Muslim guy in a bathtub?
A bath bomb 💣
I love Muslims, they are great at parties!
They have the best fireworks.
How does a Muslim close a door? He islams it.
What do u call a Muslim praying: Allahu akbar.
Americans don't like playing chess with Muslims; last time they did play, they ended up losing two towers.
Did you hear about that Muslim party?
It was a blast!
What do you call a space Muslim?
A Tusken Raider.
What do you call a drunken Muslim?
Mohammered.
Where does a Muslim like to go and eat?
Allah's snackbar!
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
Me: You know what's the favorite slogan that Hindus like the most?
My friend: What?
Me: “kati supari kata paan katiyo ko bhejo pakistan.”
There's no smoke or fire without a Muslim.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"