Furniture jokes
Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."
how do you fit 4 gay guys on a stool?
you flip it over.
What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?
She rearranged all the furniture.
Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?
A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a door, and a staircase.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
By rearranging the furniture.
How many screws does it take to construct a lesbian's bed?
None, it's all tongue and groove...
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, and a table, and chairs.
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."
Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
I like my couches like my women... Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.
The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.
Hellen Keller walked into a bar... then a table... then a chair.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.