Are people still mad at Hasan from that dog incident? All he wanted to do was become the world’s first lightningbender.
what’s dudeese
Why was six afraid of seven?
Six, seven.
Why do leftists strive for a literate population?
So people can understand their wall of text memes.
They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.
USA: "Never forget 9/11."
Brits: "What happened on the 9th of November?"
World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.
My face when “Free Palestine” wasn’t a sales deal.
You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.
The best and worst part about being bi:
Best: Double the love, double the fun.
Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.
In the Robocide, Explain Bear is the first to go.
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.
Fuck clankers. Wait, not like that.
Smoking a fag in Britain: 🚬
Smoking a fag in America: hate crime.
They're teaching my 1st grader pronouns! Today it was he/she/they. Tomorrow, you/are/is!
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
If she's not ready for an X-rated movie, she's not ready for this X-rated booty.