Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Catholic

What is the best Catholic dating app?

Grinder.

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."

Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.

Huggy Wuggy

If Huggy and Kissy ever had a kid, they would have a good lunch. *evil laugh* 😈

Incest

My mother didn't want me to love my sister. That made me angry. But then, one day I found this quote: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Since that day, I fuck my sister hard and my MOM harder!

If you think about it, taking candy from a baby is good because candy is bad for babies.

Difference

What’s the difference between kids and drugs?

I don’t hide drugs in my basement.

Nun

What’s black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.

Twin Towers

I was confused when they asked me, "Do you know how to fly a plane?" Then, when I said, "No," they said, "Perfect!"

Racist

What do you call a Black Iron Man?

Robert Browny Jr.

Wheelchair

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.

Q. What's the difference between a CEO and a deer?

A. You don't normally fuck the deer after you've shot it.

Anti-jokes

If you have a friend that will not leave you alone about something, just simply tell them: "If you watch something, have you ever thought that you're in a movie when you watch a movie?"

Woman

A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"

Yeast infection

What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection? A cracker with cheese.

ADHD

They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.