Worst Jokes Ever

Why do dolphins live in salt water?

Because pepper water would make them sneeze!

It’s not cheating if you’re all siblings.

Abortion is a difficult topic for me.

One hand I support it because it kills children.

On the other hand, it gives women a choice.

I regret my abortion.

I didn’t know child labor was an option.

I asked my North Korean friend how it is to live there.

He said he couldn't complain.

American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"

Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?

I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!

I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.

What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?

Special head.

What’s the best part about stage four cancer?

There’s no stage five.

Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.

Why are there more female history teachers than male?

Because women like to bring up the past.

Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.

Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.

My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Yo mama!

I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."

I think my family is racist.

I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?

How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?

Are you 7/11 or 9/11?